As I am writing this text, 2 and a half-year old Paul is in his bed, screaming from the top of his lungs “mammmma”. After a long lunch, 3 stories and 12 rounds of “ABC” and “Twinkle twinkle”, I softly tucked him in, gave him and Elmo a kiss and told him ” Enjoy your nap, Paul. Mommy’s right here if you need me”. As soon as I stepped out, he surely did need me… He does it every single time I put him in for a nap and although it’s quite annoying to hear him screaming for 30 minutes as he “soothes” himself to sleep, I am sure I will miss this in a few years when he won’t even nap anymore…
When Paul was about 1-year-old, I wrote a list of things I never felt before becoming a parent. More then a year later, I updated the random ways in which I am experiencing motherhood:
Before becoming a mommy to Paul:
- I never held something so precious in my arms.
- I never felt so over protective. The other day I really wanted to punch the kid that pushed you in the sandbox. (Thank God I didn’t)
- I never read about Baby Led Weaning, La Leche League, Attachment Parenting, What to expect, Maria Montessori…
- I never cooked as many pureed foods.
- I never listened to the same lullaby CD over and over again, nor did I endlessly read The Cat in the Hat.
- I never wiped someone’s nose.
- I’ve never felt prouder and more loved then when you first said “ma-ma” (even though you were referring to the cat).
- I never thought the smell of poop won’t bother me (too much).
- I never had to remove all the furniture and turn my house into a real playground.
- I never took such quick showers and didn’t care if I left the house without makeup on.
- I never did so many loads of laundry in a week.
- I never had to walk around the neighborhood for hours and stop in front of every house, play with all the pebbles we could find and stare at the pigeons.
- I never spoke in a high-pitched voice.
- I never thought I’d feel so lousy after yelling at you.
- I never thought a simple smile could brighten an entire day (or at least a good portion of it).
- I never thought I could be so focused, so determined, so inspired.
Thank you little buddy for teaching me to love unconditionally, for giving me a purpose and making the goods and bads seem all worth it.