When society wants you to marry…

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”
― Barbara De Angelis

As we just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, my husband and I had an interesting conversation on the true values of marriage and the meaning of relationships. We couldn’t help but notice what a huge influence the media has on our perception. I remember myself as a little girl wearing my grandma’s wedding dress and fantasizing about marrying a handsome man. Years later, my dream came true, only that I didn’t wear a wedding dress, and although my groom was handsome, it was nothing like I often saw in the movies. We only did a civil ceremony and I wore a grey dress and we had a small family gathering afterwords. But it wasn’t enough for me at that time, I guess the media and my environment were pushing for more. Two years later, I did get the fancy party, the big white dress and all the stress that comes with it. Although, I had the time of my life that day, I realize that if I stripped down the fancy site, the big puffy dress, the gourmet food and the live band, we would’ve still had a great time surrounded by friends and family.

Most of us want to « impress » our friends and family by showing off huge diamond rings, expensive wedding dresses and pompous wedding receptions. And with all that, the divorce rate is at a staggering 50%. The media is bombarding us with movies, « Say yes to the dress »,  » A wedding story », wedding getaways, « The cake boss », « How I proposed », etc, etc. But after all, what is a happy marriage? Is the « party » a must-have to mark the beginning of a successful marriage? Can our happiness be measured by the size of our ring, the cost of our dress or the cost of the dinner we ate? And although some of us know that all these material tangibles are not important, we still strive for them. (And please, don’t get me wrong, I know people who disposed all the upper mentioned tangibles who have solid marriages)

How much of our fantasy is dictated by media and marketing?
I tend to believe that a marriage is a journey you begin when your couple decides to take it to the next level. It’s respect, continuous communication and sharing of ideas. Although it is so much work, it’s probably one the most profound form of accomplishment for humans. It consists of countless hours of debating and fighting to reach a common goal. I wholeheartedly believe it’s a fight worth fighting for!!!

But what it all comes down to is that love and marriage shouldn’t come with an expensive price tag or shouldn’t be something to display to the world. It’s merely an intimate, profound life experience. So, whether you’re preparing for your « big day », you’re waiting for « the ring » or you simply want more, don’t let yourself caught up with what society dictates. Enjoy your ride, it belongs to you and nobody experiences your unique story. Don’t let some princess dictate what you should do/have to be happy.

Enjoy your other half and strive for personal accomplishments in your own intimacy!


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