3 whole years

3 years ago, a little boy chose me as his mother. During 9 months I carried him in my belly, told him stories, imagined what he/she would look like, wondered what his/her gender would be, fed him and anticipated motherhood together.

When he arrived, I thought I was prepared: I had carefully decorated his room, bought a stroller, hung new curtains and bought a few tiny little outfits. I also read a ton of information that surprisingly got erased the moment I held him in my arms. His arrival was painful, but magical. The first time I laid my eyes on him, I felt warm and fuzzy, vulnerable and invincible.

After proudly showing him like a trophy to our friends and family, we slowly settled into our new routine. Sleepless nights, poop, worries, engorged breasts, messy house, neglected cat and husband, quick run ins to take a shower, no makeup, no television, nothing really sexy. I cried and I felt overwhelmed at times, but never did I get discouraged. Although my little bundle of joy was more of a noisy poop machine, I discovered patience and a new purpose in life.

Little by little, we started to get to know each other. Our nights were becoming more resting, he was starting to smile back at my silly faces and he was latching on so good. Nothing can’t describe the incredible feeling I had each time I breastfed him and the countless hours I watched and examined every single part of his body.

Yesterday he turned 3. What a ride this has been. We had some downs and some amazing ups. And the best part is that I am incredibly lucky to watch this guy growing and becoming a little person, right in front of my eyes.

Yesterday, I became more of a woman seeing my son’s eyes wandering and exclaiming his happiness as he was opening his gifts. I also became a little girl who draws, reads short stories, pretends to be a dog and makes all sort of funny noises. All in all, yesterday my son accumulated one more year of life experience and by writing this testimony, he will forever have a virtual memory of exactly how his mother felt on his 3rd birthday. ❤

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